Wednesday, April 9, 2014

American Honey: Life in Lyrics

I love country music. It makes me think of home, small town Louisiana. 

I was laying in the hammock a few months ago listening to Lady A. There's a line in the song 'American Honey' that I relate to. It says: 

"Couldn't wait to get going 
But wasn't quite ready to leave.."

Now, this was just a few days before what I like to call, "The Great Reveal" happened. 

It was late that night when Wari came to speak to Kenneth. He explained how he was being greatly persecuted because of his association with us (the white people), and also how he would never know who the true believers in the churches were as long as we were there. Basically, our presence was no longer needed or beneficial in our small area. 

Our team happened to all be together that night, and after some discussion we all felt strongly that after 4 years in Karamoja, it was time for the Williams to move on. 

The Lord spoke to me that night to "keep my agenda open" but I knew it meant that I also would not be returning to Uganda after the summer, as planned. 

So back to the music. 

Those lyrics continue to replay over in mind. 

I feel somewhat anxious. 

Part of me is ready to get going. Ready to be done with goodbyes, be done with packing and move on to whatever is next. 

The other part of me is not quite ready to leave. I want to hold onto this moment, this place, these people and this season just a little bit longer. It has been such a challenging, yet truly wonderful season. 

What these lyrics have made me realize though, is that I always want to be living my life in this way.

My teammate Andrew says it a little better:

"Willing to go. 
Content to stay."

I don't want to live my life in such a way that I'm so comfortable with where I'm at that I'm not willing to move on.

Nor do I want to live in such a way that in so caught up in the moving forward that I'm not content with where I'm standing. 

I've struggled with both of these scenarios at different times in my life. 

But I hope to live in such a way that I remember I am just a sojourner in this life. That this world is not my home. 

"I miss those days as the years go by. Oh, nothing's sweeter than summertime, 
and American honey..."

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